One day about 23 or so years ago, a Browns beat writer who would later laughingly describe his innocent actions as the result of simply “a brain cramp,” walked through the side gate to the complex of outside practice fields at team headquarters in Berea, sat down on a bench and began taking in the part of practice that was closed to the media.
Uh-oh!!
That’s an absolute no-no.
Head coach Butch Davis spotted the intruder immediately and trotted over to him, scowling disparaginly as he went.
Addressing the writer by name, Davis asked him in his Oklahoma twang, “Are you under the false impression that practice is open today?”
Realizing what had happened, the embarrassed writer sheepishly slinked back out the gate.
The story became a running joke among the writers. Anytime we needed to lighten the mood, the tale was brought up. Nothing was off-limits in the media room.
I am not joking now, though. I am as put off and insulted by the Browns’ actions as Davis was by those of the writer that day. As such, I want to ask, in my own disparaging way, with a scowl on my face, the Browns’ four top people, team owners Dee and Jimmy Haslam, General Manager Andrew Berry and head coach Kevin Stefanski, “Are you all under the false impression that there is no timetable to getting this rebuild done and the team turned around?”
After losing the final six games last season, most of them by one-sided margins, the Browns have started 2025 at 1-3, with two of the defeats, including Sunday’s 34-10 whipping at the hands of the Detroit Lions, being by lopsided proportions.
We are at the quarter-pole — the first turn, about 25 percent of the way through the horse race that is the NFL season — and so we pretty much what every team is. The includes the Browns, who have one of the best defenses in team history, and one of the worst offenses ever. With the offensive woes suffocating the defensive woes, they are stuck in the mud, stuck in futility. For all but one-half of one season — down the stretch in 2023 when quarterback Joe Flacco, because of injuries, came out of nowhere to lead the club to an improbable wild-card playoff berth — the Browns have been a sub-par team since 2021.
This is like the movie, “Groundhog Day.” The one starring Bill Murray was funny. The one starring the Browns isn’t, not the least bit.
“I got you, babe.” Yeah, right around our throats. We are choking on this ugliness.
We’ve all watched the real movie many times. But we’ve seen the Browns’ version much, much more.
And it has to stop. Now. Not next week or the week after that, but at this very moment, this very instant.
The ultra-loyal Browns fans — the best fans in team sports, and the people who worked so darn hard to get this team back 30 years ago — deserve a whole heckuva lot better than this. This product is unacceptable. More than that, even, it’s embarrassing. It’s an outright insult. It’s boring, like watching the C-Span channel on a loop.
The NFL is a results-based business. As Herman Edwards always tells us, “You play to win the game.” The Browns need to keep this in mind as thry meander along with this rebuilding project. Somebody needs to hold their feet to the fire to quicken the pace dramatically, from that of a plow -horse to a jet, and I will gladly volunteer for that opportunity.
Don’t worry, Browns coaches. I am not going to walk in on your closed practice. Are you under the false impression that I would gain anything by doing that — other than getting physically ill?
Steve King
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