The word on the street is that the announcement of the 2024 NFL schedule will be made soon, or at least sooner rather than later.
In hearing that news, Bill Belichick, wherever he is, is groaning in disgust and agony.
The only thing the former Browns head coach hated to talk about more than the schedule was injuries. Both were the bane of his existence. He would have rather had a root canal than to have to deal with those unsavory, irritating and tedious subjects.
The NFL unveils its schedule nowadays with all the pomp and circumstance used at a gala to entertain a foreign dignitary at the White House. The only things missing are fancy evening gowns, black tuxes with tails, a top hat and a military band.
The schedule announcement back in the day three decades ago when Belichick was guiding the orange helmets wasn’t anywhere close to being that grand and stately, but it was still a big deal nonetheless. After all, the games, and how they’re arranged, have always been everything. They are what those long hours of practice and preparation are all about. As such, those of us reporters on the Browns beat would pepper Belichick with questions about the schedule.
Have you ever seen any of those insurance commercials starring legendary former NBA shot-blocker Dikembe Mutombo? In one of them, a businessman sitting at a desk in his office tosses a crumpled up piece of paper toward a wastebasket, only to have Mutombo, in his uniform sporting his No. 55, appear out of nowhere, swat it away harmlessly, dismissively and powerfully, laugh, wag his finger at the man and his co-worker, shake his head and growl an admonishment of “No, no, no, not in my house!” The same thing happens when a woman at a laundromat removes her clothes from the dryer and tosses them toward her basket, and when a little boy at a supermarket tosses a box of cereal toward his cart. The bits of cereal fly everywhere.
That was Belichick personified as we asked him about the schedule.
“So, Coach, what are your thoughts on opening the season with two straight road games?”
“Bill, your bye week is early. Is that an advantage or a disadvantage?”
“You guys have three division games in a row in December. Is that how you like to finish the season?”
And in each case, Belichick, clad in his customary hoodie with the long sleeves cut in half in jagged fashion with a pair of scissors, would jump out from behind the podium, harmlessly, dismissively and powerfully swat away each inquiry, laugh, wag his finger at us, shake his head and growl an admonishment of “No, no, no, not in my media room!!”
He would say simply, and repeat it as many times as was necessary when pressed further on it, “They tell us who we play, when and where, and we show up and play.”
“OK, Dikembe — er, I mean Bill — that clears it up! Thank you!”
Steve King
