OF MARTY, DOC, FREDDIE AND ALL THE REST
By STEVE KING
Everybody — or at least almost everybody — has seen the iconic movie from 35 years ago, “Back to the Future,” so I know you’ll recall this great exchange between 1955 scientist Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) and unwittingly 1985 high school time-traveler Marty McFly (Michael J, Fox):
Doc: “Tell me, Future Boy, who’s President of the United States in 1985?”
Marty: “Ronald Reagan.”
Doc: “Ronald Reagan? The actor?! Then who’s Vice President, Jerry Lewis? I suppose Jane Wyman is the First Lady!”
Marty: “Whoa, wait, Doc!”
Doc: “And Jack Benny is Secretary of the Treasury!”
I immediately thought of that humorous — and thought-provoking — conversation when it was announced that former Browns head coach Freddie Kitchens, now the tight ends coach of the New York Football Giants, will be calling the offensive plays when they host the Browns on Sunday Night Football.
The move was made after Giants offensive coordinator Jason Garrett, a product of University School in the Cleveland suburb of Hunting Valley and the son of former Browns assistant coach during the Kardiac KIds years Jim Garrett, tested positive for COVID-19 on Thursday, forcing him to miss the game.
Freddie Kitchens calling the plays for the Giants against his old team, with which he was one-and-done in 2019? Ladies and gentlemen, you can’t make this stuff up.
OK, then, if Freddie is calling the plays for the Giants on Sunday night, then:
Will Bill Belichick be their defensive coordinator (he once was, doing so well that the Browns hired him in 1991)?
Will Eric Mangini be filling up the fountain machine in the press box cafeteria?
Will Romeo Crennel be the special teams coach (a role he once had with the Giants when he and Belichick worked for Bill Parcells)?
Will Pat Shurmur be the secondary coach (he was formerly the head coach of the Giants)?
Will Chris Palmer be the quarterbacks coach (he once served that role with the Giants)?
Will Butch Davis be the defensive line coach?
Will Mike Pettine be the linebackers coach?
Will Rob Chudzinski be the passing game coordinator?
Will Hue Jackson be the assistant to the head coach?
And will Mike Holmgren be the team president?
Marty: “Doc, we’re not going to have enough road to get up to 88 (miles per hour).”
Doc: “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
Or any more former Browns head coaches and team presidents working for the New York Football Giants on Sunday night.
