Best Rally Possum shirt and giving Hue the Burt Reynolds treatment

By STEVE KING

Do you remember the football movie, “The Longest Yard”?

I’m not talking about the goofy remake from 2005. Rather, I’m talking about the original from 1974, starring the late, great Burt Reynolds as the hotshot quarterback who gets thrown into a prison run by a warden played by Eddie Albert. It’s really good. And it’s absolutely hilarious.

Anyway, the warden asks Reynolds to throw a football game between the inmates and the prison guards. Albert tells Reynolds that if he does it, he will reduce his sentence. Reynolds considers it but eventually isn’t buying it. He isn’t interested. He’s not about to let the warden push him around and tell him what to do because it would mean selling out the members of the team he has formed.

There’s a scene in which Reynolds goes to a grizzled old fellow inmate named Pop (John Stedman) and puts him a question to him.

“Hey, Pop, when you punched the warden and your 10-year sentence got changed go life, was it worth it?” Reynolds asked.

Pop thought for a few seconds, then said with a big smile, “Yeah!”

Reynolds laughed and went and punched the warden, telling him that he was not throwing the game. In doing so, though, he knew that his sentence would, like Pop’s, also get a lot longer.

OK, so you’re saying, “What’s the point here?”

The point is that I’m so mad at Hue Jackson being hired as a special assistant to the head coach by the Cincinnati Bengals that I’m tempted to jump into my car, drive to Cincinnati, maneuver my way around to Paul Brown Stadium and punch the former Browns head coach right smack-dab in the mouth. Yes, I know I’d go to jail for doing it, but that’s OK because it would definitely be worth it.

How dare Happy Hue do that, especially 12 days before the Browns, coming out of their bye, play the Bengals at Cincinnati on Nov. 25.

After all the Browns did for him in bringing him back this season despite his having a 1-31 record over the previous two years, he has the nerve to go to an instate division rival and sell his old team down the river by feeding all kinds of information to Bengals head coach Miserable Marvin Lewis. Shame on Happy Hue for doing that, and also shame on Miserable Marvin, who has never won anything but somehow keeps his job, for hiring his old buddy.

So, then, let me get this straight: Happy Hue gets fired for being insubordinate for failing to get along with offensive coordinator Todd Haley, and for losing games at a historically egregiously obscene rate and thus losing the team, and now here he is again trying to cut the Browns’ legs out from underneath them.

Really?

Happy Hue, you’re not just a bad coach, but you’re also a bad person.

And the same goes for you, Miserable Marvin.

Where are my car keys?

Side note:

With all the t-shirt companies around Cleveland having plenty of time to come up with the best Rally Possum shirt, we thought it was time to recognize our favorite.

Click Here to see our selection for Best Rally Possum shirt!