If I’m Browns owner Jimmy Haslam, then I’m getting General Manager Ray Farmer out of the building as quickly as possible.
 
In fact, I would break into his office if the door were locked, or just kick the darn thing in if I had to. I’d have two burly team security guards with me, one to grab his left arm and the other to grab his right arm, and I’d make sure they not only showed Farmer the door, but took him out through it and to his car in the parking lot.
 
Then I’d stand there with him and, after telling him to leave and never come back, lest I have him arrested for trespassing, I’d personally watch him drive away to make sure he really left.
 
And I’d send his personal belongings from his office to him – C.O.D., if I could get away with it legally. I’d look at it as that the guy had already stolen enough money from me and I would be bound and determined that he wasn’t going to get a penny more than what I legally owed him.
 
Why would I do all this? Because after Farmer’s painfully bad performance in that press conference late yesterday afternoon, I would have finally seen enough. Enough is enough, and too much is too much. I couldn’t have him – and all the negativity, ineptitude, selfishness and stupidity he brings as his personal baggage – in my building any longer. It would be time to cut my losses and get that cancer out of the place.
 
To that end, then, I would have his office fumigated.
 
I’m not kidding. I’m not trying to be facetious, flippant or funny. None of those clean f-words. Rather, I’m trying to be the s-word – serious. In fact, I’m as serious as a heart attack.
 
There was nothing good about the way Farmer handled that press conference. There’s been nothing good about the way he has performed in his job since he’s been here.
 
If you listen to what Farmer said yesterday – the absurdity of every point he was trying to make, or whatever he was attempting to do, as he mopped his brown as if he were under some heat lamp or something – then you know that he is either a liar. Or egotistical. Or in denial. Or condescending. Or just plain ignorant.
 
Or maybe a combination of any or all of these things.
 
Whatever the case, it doesn’t really matter. They’re all negative traits. They’re all bad.
 
And as the owner, I can’t have a GM – really, any employee, but especially a GM, the head man of the football part of a football team – exuding any of those things, let alone several or all of them.
 
I’d say all of them, which is completely unacceptable.
 
Which brings us to this question: Why, then, is Farmer still in that building in Berea?
 
Only Jimmy Haslam can answer that, and he isn’t talking, at least not publicly. He hasn’t talked publicly for a long time, in fact.
 
And when he does finally talk publicly, that press conference should really be interesting.
 
Until then, though, we get Farmer, who is interesting only in the fact that he must be a disciple of Joseph Goebbels, Hitler’s propaganda minister. Goebbels believed that if you told people an untruth enough times, they would eventually believe it.
 
But guess what? Nobody in Northeast Ohio – or anywhere, really – believes Ray Farmer anymore, especially after that press conference yesterday.