If this was indeed the dress rehearsal, then the Browns are in no way, shape or form ready for the opening of the show in 16 days.
They stumbled, fumbled, bumbled and mumbled their way through their lines on Friday night at Raymond James Stadium.
They didn’t know where to stand, or when, or how, or why, and with whom.
Even when they got it together for brief moments and stayed on script, they would quickly make another blunder to throw the whole proceedings out of whack again.
It was as dysfunctional as a performance can be – an unmitigated disaster, to be sure.
Had they practiced this thing before? It didn’t appear that way.
It played out like a comedy – a Keystone Kops adaptation, really — but it was supposed to be serious.
Seriously pathetic.
In the end, the Browns were crushed by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 30-13 – and it wasn’t even that close – as they dropped to 0-3 and inched ever so close to becoming just the third team in club history to finish the preseason winless. In the first half, when most of the starters on both sides were playing, the hosts ran off 24 unanswered points and led 27-3 before settling for a 27-10 halftime lead.
The Browns were mostly non-competitive, like they were in their first two seasons back on the field in 1999 and 2000 and several other times since, such as 2009 and last year.
The Browns struggled to throw the ball with any consistency.
Their running attack was ineffective.
Their offensive line was a sieve.
Their run defense was bad.
So was their pass defense.
They couldn’t tackle, nor cover, anyone.
And their special teams? It was their worst effort in that regard in recent memory, and for a Chris Tabor-coached group, that’s saying a lot. There have been a lot of stinkers.
Everything the organization did was off-key, even the Browns’ radio production, if you can believe that.
Wide receiver Josh Gordon, playing for the first time this season after having missed most of the last two years in being suspended by the NFL, was the star of the show for the Browns. He was incredibly impressive, catching two passes for 87 yards, including a 43-yarder from Robert Griffin III for the team’s only touchdown.
But the Browns Radio Network was late coming out of a break, and thus the score was never heard live. Play-by-play man Jim Donovan and color analyst Doug Dieken had to re-create it for listeners, just like old-time radio.
If only these guys were the old-time Browns.
Oh, well.
That’s too bad, for, depending on whether he plays in next Thursday night’s preseason finale against the Chicago Bears at FirstEnergy Stadium, fans may not hear – or see — Gordon score again until Oct. 9. That’s when he will return after being suspended again by the league for the first four regular-season games.
The Browns have a short period of time to get themselves turned around, with the opener coming on Sept. 11 against the Philadelphia Eagles.
And if they don’t, then the real show will be a colossal flop, just like Friday’s practice run-through was.
